Welcome back, children.

Greetings select-GMs,

It is I, Commissioner Randy, who welcomes you to another year of fantasy greatness. Fantasy hockey greatness, I should add. It's not to be confused with other frolic fantasies of any nature.

"But... but... PLEASURE-TOWN!" cried Burgundy.

Alright, alright. Fine. There will be other 'fantasies' to be had this year as well, but the majority will be stemming from fantasy hockey. Aren't I nice to bend the rules a tad?

Anyway, this year's Randy League has been titled "Randy's Children"; I think of all select-GM's as my children, so why not name the League as such? It has been said that Sir Fucking Randy is a fatherly figure around these parts, and I believe it to be an accurate assessment. I do encompass fatherly qualities if I may say so myself; I am proper, on point, fantastically-educated (minus the Masters in Penial Analystics), tough and loving. I love each and every one of my children, even though each and every one of them drives me mad. So, when organizing this year's League, I decided on naming it "Randy's Children". Not bad, right?

This site will be constructed and updated as the season kicks off, so check back often. Apologies for the state in which it appears currently; Mr. Fucking Randy has been busy training new staff and ensuring my firm-breasted secretaries get my poutine order right. I will build the site as time permits.

On a more serious note...

As with every welcome/kick off party, it is customary to feel energetic and optimistic. And while I do indeed feel the energy flowing and optimism rising, I remind all select-GM's that the season is long. It's one thing to show up for the opening ceremonies and completely another to take part on the grind day-in and day-out until season's end. The League runs on the grind; it runs on all select-GM's taking part.

Put another way, the Randy League is structured much like a classic dish of poutine. A skilled chef needs five distinct items working together to make it a successful dish: fries, cheese curds, gravy, salt and a heart attack. The same goes for the Randy Leagues: five highly skilled select-GM's giving it their all makes the League what it is.

I urge all select-GM's to remember that this League is solely built on a unique bond between individuals who share a common interest in not only the sport of hockey, but in building and maintaining friendships, and just having a fucking great time. The League exists - and shall only exist - as long as full select-GM participation is intact. So let us not disappoint one another, dear children; let us be committed to having the time of our lives while we're still able.

Welcome back, my children.